He Knows Me

Years ago someone had told me that if you have a hard time waking up from surgery sip a warm Mountain Dew.
So when we were on our way to Anchorage for my surgery I asked James to have one waiting for me when I got back to the room.
Now for 12 years I have drank nothing but Diet Coke and Coffee (Water and Iced Tea) but to "buy" me a drink, its always one of those two. And so here we are driving to Anch. two days before major surgery, trying to make an apt. we are late for, we are both scared about this surgery and I ask him to do this strange thing out of the blue while he was driving.
The day after my surgery James came into my room with a beautiful shawl (in the PERFECT colors for me), and I love shawls!! And a journal (I love Journals! I have a whole book shelf FULL of them in our bedroom.) but he was miserable looking???
I thanked him and told him how much I loved him and them and how sweet he was to think of things I love and enjoy instead of flowers that would die or candy I'm trying to avoid. But he opened the journal and handed it to me and he had written almost 3 whole pages! This from a man with severe dyslexia is a HUGE chore!! As I started reading what he had written he started crying, and so did I, but not for the same reason.
He wrote how bad he felt that I had gone thru surgery and only asked for one small thing (the Mountain Dew) and he had forgotten it. And how devastated he was that he could have forgotten to have it there for me after what I had been thru.
I had forgotten about it!!! And told him it wasn't that important. But he was so upset with himself that he had forgotten it even with worrying about me in surgery and coordinating our kids back home and all that was going on. It showed me once again how very deeply, to the very core of his heart he loves me! It HURT him that he hadn't done one small thing I had asked in the middle of all the insanity we were going thru.
Do I as his wife care for him that much? Am I that selfless in my love?