Thursday, February 17, 2011
I was talking to a friend of mine this week. Between us we have racked up almost 45 years of experience at this thing called Marriage and Love.
There is a lot of books, songs, poems, and talk about both extreems when it comes to Love, Marriage and or the opposite there of when things are bad and even headed to or end up in Divorce. But there isn't very much honesty about the reality of what happens in between the two extreams.
What about the Day to day. After the wedding and honeymoon are over and real life sets in? You love each other and you know it but real life isn't lived on the Mountain Top of the Wedding Day or Valentines Day or your Anniversary. Real life is lived the 360 days of the year that aren't holidays. The days of getting up early for work even when you both are tired or sick. The days of paying bills and making the money stretch till the next payday. The worry over parents getting older and the kids making the right friends and choices. It's picking up his socks every day for 25 years even when it bugs you and the laundry basket is right there.
Its his going out and starting your vehicle to warm it up every morning just because he loves you and is still a gentleman, even though he'd rather stay in a warm bed. Its the little and the big things that are sweet and that aren't so sweet that you are willing to overlook and live with because you love each and know you are better because you are together.
These Valley Walks that you walk together are the real marriage. This is what those looks that you see pass between couples who have been married for years are all about. It is a deep understanding of things big and small, not just the good times but all the hundreds of problems and misunderstandings they have come thru together.
When I married James I loved him. I knew he was a good man. I trusted him. I liked him. He was my friend....
Now, I am IN love WITH him. I lean on him and give him all my heart and trust completely. I like him as a person even more and he is my very best friend in the world. We have become closer than I imagined two people could ever be. We have been thru the wringger when it comes to health, finances and the outside world, but each of these things, instead of pushing us apart has bound us stronger together.
If others in this world could grasp this concept that the reality of life and love is lived in the real world, even for Christians, not in some cloud. Many marriages would be happier and last a lot longer.