One of my dearest friends and I were discussing this VERY important question today over lunch. (Along with several other life altering topics we dealt with!) Sadly, both of us as well as too many of our close friends have been through divorces.
I'm not talking about bad people who go out and live wild lives and marry without consideration and counseling. I'm talking good, honest, hardworking, Christian, Godly people who love the Lord and want to serve Him with all their heart.
But sin, Satan, the world and the flesh can destroy even "good" marriages if we are not ever cautious. And always tending the field that is our marriage.
God blessed me after 12 years of a very bad marriage with (now 12 years and counting!) of marriage to the most incredible man with the biggest heart on earth!
But back to lunch....this friend and I were talking about how scary it is to fall in love when you have been hurt so bad by someone you loved and trusted with your heart and life. And how could you know that this time you knew you were making the right choice....?
First and foremost, always is prayer, (LOTS, EVERY DAY!!) Soul searching quiet time alone with God , giving the whole thing to Him. Begging Him that if this is not right to please show you, Show the other person, Put up a BIG red STOP sign. what ever it takes. Literally give the relationship to God to do with as He wishes and then be wise enough to see when and if He should show you.
Second, we discussed my opinion that noone should ever get married without feeling like, EVERY TIME they look at the other person that they are the most blessed person on earth because this incredible person actually wants to be with ME!
How did I get so lucky? How did I win the jackpot? I upgraded out of my status and station in life! It's not about looks or money. Don't get me wrong. We have been poor as Church mice for most of our marriage, but when I look at, talk to, listen to, sit by, watch across the room, hear him laugh, see him play with the kids, or have one of our all night talks, I am amazed that this incredible man, this treasure, this loving Father, this tender hearted, giving man could have possibly even looked my way much less loved and wanted me 12 years ago and still does even with all my tons of baggage!!! Now that is a blessing only God can give!
But, strangely enough, after 12 years together, when I got home and was telling James about lunch and what we had talked about and said, he started LAUGHING!!! He said I was crazy that HE was the one who got the upgrade so to speak and I got taken in the deal! See what I mean! If you don't both feel like the other one is someone to strive for and live up to then you have nowhere to go in your life and marriage but down.
