‎~Loves it when he hugs her for no reason, makes her laugh when she wants to cry, picks her up when she's down, holds her near when she needs him the most ♥

He Knows Me

Years ago someone had told me that if you have a hard time waking up from surgery sip a warm Mountain Dew.
So when we were on our way to Anchorage for my surgery I asked James to have one waiting for me when I got back to the room.
Now for 12 years I have drank nothing but Diet Coke and Coffee (Water and Iced Tea) but to "buy" me a drink, its always one of those two. And so here we are driving to Anch. two days before major surgery, trying to make an apt. we are late for, we are both scared about this surgery and I ask him to do this strange thing out of the blue while he was driving.
The day after my surgery James came into my room with a beautiful shawl (in the PERFECT colors for me), and I love shawls!! And a journal (I love Journals! I have a whole book shelf FULL of them in our bedroom.) but he was miserable looking???
I thanked him and told him how much I loved him and them and how sweet he was to think of things I love and enjoy instead of flowers that would die or candy I'm trying to avoid. But he opened the journal and handed it to me and he had written almost 3 whole pages! This from a man with severe dyslexia is a HUGE chore!! As I started reading what he had written he started crying, and so did I, but not for the same reason.
He wrote how bad he felt that I had gone thru surgery and only asked for one small thing (the Mountain Dew) and he had forgotten it. And how devastated he was that he could have forgotten to have it there for me after what I had been thru.
I had forgotten about it!!! And told him it wasn't that important. But he was so upset with himself that he had forgotten it even with worrying about me in surgery and coordinating our kids back home and all that was going on. It showed me once again how very deeply, to the very core of his heart he loves me! It HURT him that he hadn't done one small thing I had asked in the middle of all the insanity we were going thru.
Do I as his wife care for him that much? Am I that selfless in my love?

Can't Even Get Mad!

My husband frustrates me, because he doesn't frustrate me!! Is that crazy or what?!? And he is teaching my kids to be the same wonderful frustrating way!!! I now have four of them!

Tonight James and his brother Allen, who is having to live with us for a while, went to one of his younger brother's to play "hand and foot" for a while. (Meaning till 2 or 3 in the morning which is fine with me, it's his day off and he needs time with his brother's...)

For years, every since we have been married, we have had Game Night on Fri. nights but the last year it has petered out to almost nothing because of my health and James' job. So when no one was here by the normal time, he felt ok to go.

About an hour later, his youngest brother dropped off our youngest and our nephew. A few min. later we had three more kids ages 6 to 11 dropped off. So I was up to 7 kids aged 6 to 15. All under 12 except 1. My oldest had been at school and work all day and by 9pm was ready for bed so off he went.

Thirty min. later he got up. I asked him if the kids were too loud and he said no...He said he was worried about me and couldn't sleep thinking about me out here with all the kids by myself! Not 5min. later, while he was still sitting here, James called.

He said he was worried about me. He had a feeling that more kids had been dropped off and how many did I have. I told him, but said that Mathew had gotten back up so he should stay. Not 5 min. later both parents showed up to get their kids...

I called James and asked him if he had called the Dad's and told them to come get their kids. He said no, why? I said, cause both of them just came and got their kids! He was so surprised. He was just fixing' to come home to help me.

Mathew was going to stay up late and James was going to give up his time with his brothers to help me because they didn't want me to be over worked taking care of the kids in my health condition and God blessed them and in so doing blessed me!

I often get frustrated at them hovering over me and "babying" me, but they take such good care of me and love me so much, I really can't get mad at them! I love them and am so thankful for them!!! I truly am a blessed woman!

Reality of Loving

I was talking to a friend of mine this week. Between us we have racked up almost 45 years of experience at this thing called Marriage and Love.

There is a lot of books, songs, poems, and talk about both extreems when it comes to Love, Marriage and or the opposite there of when things are bad and even headed to or end up in Divorce. But there isn't very much honesty about the reality of what happens in between the two extreams.

What about the Day to day. After the wedding and honeymoon are over and real life sets in? You love each other and you know it but real life isn't lived on the Mountain Top of the Wedding Day or Valentines Day or your Anniversary. Real life is lived the 360 days of the year that aren't holidays. The days of getting up early for work even when you both are tired or sick. The days of paying bills and making the money stretch till the next payday. The worry over parents getting older and the kids making the right friends and choices. It's picking up his socks every day for 25 years even when it bugs you and the laundry basket is right there.

Its his going out and starting your vehicle to warm it up every morning just because he loves you and is still a gentleman, even though he'd rather stay in a warm bed. Its the little and the big things that are sweet and that aren't so sweet that you are willing to overlook and live with because you love each and know you are better because you are together.

These Valley Walks that you walk together are the real marriage. This is what those looks that you see pass between couples who have been married for years are all about. It is a deep understanding of things big and small, not just the good times but all the hundreds of problems and misunderstandings they have come thru together.

When I married James I loved him. I knew he was a good man. I trusted him. I liked him. He was my friend....

Now, I am IN love WITH him. I lean on him and give him all my heart and trust completely. I like him as a person even more and he is my very best friend in the world. We have become closer than I imagined two people could ever be. We have been thru the wringger when it comes to health, finances and the outside world, but each of these things, instead of pushing us apart has bound us stronger together.

If others in this world could grasp this concept that the reality of life and love is lived in the real world, even for Christians, not in some cloud. Many marriages would be happier and last a lot longer.

Back but not forgotten...

I haven't forgotten about this blog in the last several months I have just been in a very bad way and haven't felt like writing anything at all. Today I was creating a new blog for my extended family to keep in touch and I realized how very long it has been since I had written anything on here.
I haven't made much progress, if any, health wise. But my sweet James still treats me like I am his princess. Today he brought me a skor candy bar. Don't ask me where he got the money or the time.

He had come in from work for lunch and for the fourth day in a row I was still in bed hurting bad and when he tried to talk to me about it I just burst into tears...not at all like me. I just spilled over telling him I hate this chair, I hate being sick, I hate hurting, I hate being usless, I hate being alone, I hate being lonely...I just dumped it all on him. And he didn't need more burdens right now. But I had held it in as long as I could and out it came. I told him I had been trying to deal with this "go around" of pain without saying anything to anyone, even him, because as tired as I am of talking about it they all HAD to be tired of hearing about it. So it had been a very bad four days but I was just not saying anything.

He just hugged me and went back to work in his usual sweet way. But he called for little nothings four times in the two hours he was gone! And when he came home he had some how found a way with no money in the bank, no toilet paper and no gas in the vehicles to bring me a candy bar. His own sweet quiet way of saying I love you, I notice, I heard every word you said and I care!

We of course split the candy bar and watched a movie together! I am not OK but I am 100 times better.