New Year's Resolution Anyone??

A person can lose 8lbs in one year by kissing for 10 minutes a day.

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

A dear and treasured friend of mine posted this on her Face Book. I did not know about it till now. 

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day is a day of remembrance for pregnancy loss and infant death, which includes but is not limited to miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, or the death of a newborn. It is observed annually in the United States and Canada and, in recent years, in the United Kingdom and in the Australian State of New South Wales, on October 15^th .

The day is observed with remembrance ceremonies and candle-lighting vigils, concluding with the International Wave of Light, a worldwide lighting of candles.

Picture by Jessie Ruffridge

I love you! You know we have talked before about my miscarriages, but I never knew there was a special day set aside for other's to remember and show love and support! I have always taken time on Dec.3^rd  to remember my babies because that was the date of my first miscarriage. I found I had to remember and love them but was wasting time God had given me with my family and friends by remembering every date of each miscarriage, every "would have been birthday"…

I don't understand God's reasons or plans for why so many of my Babies have gone to Heaven so soon. So I have just always considered the day I lost Tara as my day of remembrance. It is comforting to know that there is a day where other people remember and recognize the horrible pain and loss that parents suffer. I love you and am praying for you, as always!

Thank You Jessie, this will make this Dec. 3^rd  the easiest one I have had in 20 yrs! 

<3 span="span"> <3 span="span"> <3 span="span"> <3 span="span"> <3 span="span"> <3 span="span"> <3 span="span"> 

(A heart for each of my Heavenly Treasures!)

Hard Years

You know there was a line in a movie and an old man was talking to a younger married man and he was talking about his marriage and his wife who had died. He said something to the effect that no marriage is perfect, there are hard years and good years, then he said, "We ended on a great year!" I love that line! But the truth is that is Hollywood and that was some writer's sitting around a table hashing out the perfect words for him to say so women every where would tear up and look at their husbands and say, "Why don't you say things like that?" and the men could sit there and think, "Some chick wrote that, cause no guy would say that to another guy!" I know I am exaggerating somewhat but you get my point. I have been married to James for 13 1/2 years now. I don't think it is good and bad years of marriage so much as LIFE. We don't see many people anymore, between my health and his job. We have NO social life at all. (Not that we had a huge one before, but we had people over all the time and was always at church and I saw people every day at my two jobs and around town paying bills and shopping. LIFE) Now for over three 1/2 years the bedroom and living room have been my whole world. That takes a tole mentally no matter how you look at it, try to handle it or manage it, there is only so much CHEERFUL you can do! And who do you suppose (Not in the movies but in the real world) gets the brunt of that? Who sees the ugly, the sad, the depressed, the tears, the angry, the why me, the today I give up, the I CAN"T TAKE ANY MORE PAIN!! days, the weepy "I'm sorry, I'm a bad wife and mother" days, the guilty days because I can't do what I should do for my family...MY Dear Sweet Husband and Children who are already carrying the whole load! Are all our days like that!!!??? NO! We have good days! We even have fun and great days! We have adapted and learned to spend time when (around my medication schedule) and where (Often all five of us on the bed, dresser, bookshelf..in our bedroom because I can't get out of bed) but I bet we laugh harder than most families at the silliest things! And I have two teens who seek me out, close the bedroom door and spend up to two hours at a time talking to me voluntarily! My husband and I don't go out on date nights, and I worry about his health with the burdens and stress he is carrying. But we have a sweet friendship and I can tell him ANYTHING! We talk for hours at night. Sometimes straight through till his 5am job so he has to take a nap in the afternoon because he was up all night soothing my fears and worries. We are NOT a perfect couple by any means. And I think anyone who tells you they are is lying to you or themselves. Because there are no perfect people so if no one is perfect, how can you have TWO imperfect humans live together and have a perfect marriage? Impossible! That's like saying two wrongs make a right. Two imperfects do not make a perfect. Not possible. For instance, tempers...we all have one, whether we want to admit it or not, whether we can control it, have a short or long fuse, we all have one PERIOD. Now with my husband and I, when we first got married we had a MARVELOUS first year! Then I got pregnant and was put on total bed rest with a 4 1/2yr old. I..am..a..RED..HEAD! I have a short fuse and I can blow hot and fast! BOOM!! "THERE SHE BLOWS!" My dear husband is the calm quiet type. He takes forever to let out what is bothering him and it's like pulling rusty screws with a hammer!! Nigh on impossible! And we had know each other for 13 years before we married and had NEVER had one fight! And all of the sudden we are fighting like cats and dogs! We were like two teenagers who had just gotten married and we were both in our 30's! I could not understand what was happening! Then my husband figured ME out! Something no one had ever done in 31 years! I didn't even realize it! He looked at me and said, you are like a box of bottle rockets, you light one and it will go off fast and explode. If no says anything and leaves you alone for a bit to cool off. No more rockets. But every time someone tries to calm you down it's like throwing another match in the box. I looked at him with my eyes and mouth hanging open, not sure whether he was insulting me or trying to pick a fight or what! He said, I think all you need is a chance to blow off steam and I've been trying to fix your problems and you just get more frustrated because I'm not listening, I'm talking. So now when I explode he just looks at me and even though I feel like an idiot and can't seem to stop the flow of words rushing out about whatever is bugging me. Be it the wet mail or the busted dryer or how late a book is I ordered. He just waits for me to get it out of my system and then I sit quiet for a bit and the Lord starts working on me and I end up going back and apologizing to everyone and trying harder next time to control my tongue. BUT, WE as a couple don't explode all the time because he knows it's not about him. So is this a Hard Year or a Good Year for us? It has been both. Every year we have a blend of both. If it was all Good we would stop needing and depending on God and each other! If it was all hard, we would probably quit, so God gives us both. No more of either than we need or can handle. And we have each other...that bonus makes it worth everything!

Married Idiots

We All Married Idiots: Three Things You Will Never Change About Your Marriage and Ten Things You Can by Elaine W. Miller
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I won this book and now I get to read it! I am excited and can't wait to read it and give a review! Two of my favorite things, Marriage and Humor!!
Marvelous!! Start to finish this book is packed with yumminess! You must read this book! My only wish is that she would have used KJV1611 Bible so I could read it in book.
I have already marked my copy up with underlining and notes, read parts to my Hubby and we are going to go back through it together! I recommend this book.

View all my reviews

Different

Women of God can never be like women of the world.The world has enough women who are tough; We need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; We need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; We need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; We need more women of faith. We have enough greed; We need more goodness. We have enough vanity; We need more virtue. We have enough popularity; We need more purity. ~ Margaret Dyreng Nadauld

Over Night Trip

Wow! My husband surprised me yesterday when I woke up with a wonderful treat he had planned just for the two of us! He woke me up with a kiss, a hug, a cup of coffee and telling me that I had all day to pack a bag with what I would need to spend the night in a hotel with him. And that I was to ask no questions, but to take whatever I needed for being in a hot tub! So after the kids got off school, Joanna helped me pack a small bag and then when James came home from work he took me by the hand and helped me in the truck and off we went! We didn't do anything fancy or grand and glorious. Number one, my health wouldn't let me and number two we couldn't afford it. But we went through the drive through and got a sandwich each and drove to Soldotna and checked in. By then I had to lay down for 1/2 hour or so. Honestly I didn't want to even get up off the bed but because of the super sweet way he had made plans just for me I pushed and got ready for the hot tub. IT WAS HOT!!! But we spent quite a while in the water. James treated it like a therapy session. He had me laid out floating, totally relaxed with not a weight or pressure anywhere on my spine, neck, muscles, tendons...for the first time in over four and a half years I was almost pain free without being knocked out on pain pills! And it was amazing that he could do this because I am scared, no terrified of the water and have never been able to relax like that and float, trusting someone to hold me up while I laid there completely relaxed. I have always been tense, ready to fight to hold my breath and get my head up and feet down. But last night was wonderful! By the time we got out he had to practically carry me out of the tub! LOL Once I rinsed off the chlorine
and put on a night gown I barely made it to the bed! My poor hair stayed in a towel for about three hours before I even tried to do anything with it! When I fell asleep, (yes I took my pills, I was relaxed, not stupid!) I slept straight through till 7:30 this morning!! It was such a wonderful way to be spoiled and pampered by my husband! He said it was a just because trip! "Because, we need time alone, because you deserve it (I didn't think I did), because you need out of the house, because you've worked so hard and lost so much weight we are celebrating, because I love you, because I want to try the hot tub therapy for you...just because!" This is the first "get away" we have had together in over four years (unless you count my surgeries! LOL)! It was WONDERFUL!

Our feet~relaxing on our King Bed!

My Husband who spoils me!

Our Room!

Supper!! Yummy Salad!

Happy Anniversary to US!!

Feb. 19, 2012 ~ James & Audrey Grant ~ Our 13th Anniversary!

As you can see by the picture we celebrated our Anniversary three days ago on Sunday! I was hoping above hope to be able to get out of bed that day and go to Church with my family. That would have been the BEST present for both of us. But it wasn't to be.

Three days before I managed to sneak up while he was at work and try on my wedding dress. I have lost 70 lbs. in the last three years and was "Hoping" it would fit for him for our Anniv. as a surprise....it did!

But then I wasn't able to wear it to Church for him on Sunday because I was hurting too bad. That was my surprise for James.

James had a few surprises of his own tucked up his sleeve. This was the first Sunday in well over 6 months that he hasn't had to work an 11 to 12 hr. day (he takes care of people in there homes who can't get out). Instead of going to Church with the kids on Sunday Morning he made me breakfast in bed, and we watched the Church services on line together. I usually watch them alone while the kids go to church. (Then he went with them for evening service).

As soon as it was done he told me to take a nap (medicine) and he went to the kitchen and started putzing around. About an hour and a half he came back and sat on the bed grinning.

James:  "Our Spinach Pie will be done in an hour!" 

Me:  "Wait! Number 1. You made our traditional anniversary meal by yourself?!" 

James:  "YEP!

Me: "Number 2. Our oven is broken! And the part won't be in till Mon. or Tues.!"

James:   "I know, I called everyone who lived close by and couldn't reach anyone so I went knocking on the neighbors' doors till I found someone home who would let me use their oven for an hour and 15 min.!"  (Big Grin)

Me: "You love me that much?!"

James: "Well, You and Spinach Pie!" Laughs  (scene closes for you all)....

The romance never ends if you don't let it, you don't have to be rich, you don't have to do the same thing other people do and expect. It doesn't have to be Roses, Chocolate, candlelit dinner at a restaurant to mean that you are loving and continuing to court and invest in each other and your relationship.

Figure out WHO the person you are married to really is and that is what romance is really about! What is romantic about Spinach Pie??? It is my husbands favorite food in the whole world! It is expensive to make, you can't order it at a restaurant, his aunts and brother taught me how to make it the way his Mom did, it is unhealthy and fattening which neither of us need so we agreed that it would be our "Special" meal and I would make it for him on our anniv. every year. So I start buying and freezing ingredients up to two months in advance. 

Even if we can't get a gift for each other, we agree to put our money into the meal because it means so much to us.

My parents showed me this in a far different way when I was growing up. They often had NO money on their anniv. Not even enough to buy a little something extra to cook. I've known them to eat Cornbread and Milk for their anniv supper and be HAPPY! Why? Because they were together! What they ate didn't matter, where they were didn't matter. As long as they had time alone together, they were in Heaven on Earth!

That is the marriage that James and I make sure we work together to have every day. It's not always easy. I'm not an easy person to live with and even love all the time. I know that, And that is why I find him so amazing that he loves me at my worst.

Sooo, I chased a few rabbits there, but we had a wonderful anniv. in spite of my physical failings! I can't wait to see what year 14 brings for us!!

A Room of Our Own

I once heard a piece of decorating advice and it stuck with me. "Don't put pictures of anyone except the two of you as a couple in your bedroom." The more I thought on this the more I liked it and it made sense to me.
We have pictures in almost every room in our home, hall and bathrooms included. These include our kids, parents, siblings, ancestors, etc...but in our bedroom I have removed all photos that aren't James and I together.
In fact I have taken it a step further over the years and now have our main wall, which is at the end of our bed, decorated with every photo of the two of us that I can find. To make it look nice I frame them all in 8x10 or 5x7 black frames and if needed use a cream border. I have them hung in a grid of three rows across the wall.
As we lay on the bed and talk or rest we are looking at a parade of our memories of our years and treasured moments together. It is amazing how often we find ourselves pointing out one picture or another and talking about where we were and what we were doing when it was taken.
I could have put all those pictures in albums or all over the house mixed in with all the others. But focused like they are they draw our attention and we look at them often and they help keep memories of all our wonderful moments alive even during sickness or worry.
This has made such an impact on us and our marriage that I have, over time, moved everything out of our room that doesn't have to do with us. All the treasures the kids bring us are proudly displayed all over the house, but not in our room. We have things we have gotten each other or gotten when together and we have a few personal things from our youth that have made us who we are and have stories behind them that are very special to us as a person that we share with each other.
What am I trying to say?? We have been married for just shy of 13 years. We have 3 children whom we adore, treasure and thank God for, because each one of them are here only through the Grace of God and the answer to many, many prayers. But when James and I go in our room and close the door, it is our Haven. It is where we are alone. Where we are best friends and can tell each other anything. It is our special place with nothing to jar or distract us. It truly is "A Room of Our Own".