Over Night Trip

Wow! My husband surprised me yesterday when I woke up with a wonderful treat he had planned just for the two of us! He woke me up with a kiss, a hug, a cup of coffee and telling me that I had all day to pack a bag with what I would need to spend the night in a hotel with him. And that I was to ask no questions, but to take whatever I needed for being in a hot tub! So after the kids got off school, Joanna helped me pack a small bag and then when James came home from work he took me by the hand and helped me in the truck and off we went! We didn't do anything fancy or grand and glorious. Number one, my health wouldn't let me and number two we couldn't afford it. But we went through the drive through and got a sandwich each and drove to Soldotna and checked in. By then I had to lay down for 1/2 hour or so. Honestly I didn't want to even get up off the bed but because of the super sweet way he had made plans just for me I pushed and got ready for the hot tub. IT WAS HOT!!! But we spent quite a while in the water. James treated it like a therapy session. He had me laid out floating, totally relaxed with not a weight or pressure anywhere on my spine, neck, muscles, tendons...for the first time in over four and a half years I was almost pain free without being knocked out on pain pills! And it was amazing that he could do this because I am scared, no terrified of the water and have never been able to relax like that and float, trusting someone to hold me up while I laid there completely relaxed. I have always been tense, ready to fight to hold my breath and get my head up and feet down. But last night was wonderful! By the time we got out he had to practically carry me out of the tub! LOL Once I rinsed off the chlorine
and put on a night gown I barely made it to the bed! My poor hair stayed in a towel for about three hours before I even tried to do anything with it! When I fell asleep, (yes I took my pills, I was relaxed, not stupid!) I slept straight through till 7:30 this morning!! It was such a wonderful way to be spoiled and pampered by my husband! He said it was a just because trip! "Because, we need time alone, because you deserve it (I didn't think I did), because you need out of the house, because you've worked so hard and lost so much weight we are celebrating, because I love you, because I want to try the hot tub therapy for you...just because!" This is the first "get away" we have had together in over four years (unless you count my surgeries! LOL)! It was WONDERFUL!

Our feet~relaxing on our King Bed!

My Husband who spoils me!

Our Room!

Supper!! Yummy Salad!

Happy Anniversary to US!!

Feb. 19, 2012 ~ James & Audrey Grant ~ Our 13th Anniversary!

As you can see by the picture we celebrated our Anniversary three days ago on Sunday! I was hoping above hope to be able to get out of bed that day and go to Church with my family. That would have been the BEST present for both of us. But it wasn't to be.

Three days before I managed to sneak up while he was at work and try on my wedding dress. I have lost 70 lbs. in the last three years and was "Hoping" it would fit for him for our Anniv. as a surprise....it did!

But then I wasn't able to wear it to Church for him on Sunday because I was hurting too bad. That was my surprise for James.

James had a few surprises of his own tucked up his sleeve. This was the first Sunday in well over 6 months that he hasn't had to work an 11 to 12 hr. day (he takes care of people in there homes who can't get out). Instead of going to Church with the kids on Sunday Morning he made me breakfast in bed, and we watched the Church services on line together. I usually watch them alone while the kids go to church. (Then he went with them for evening service).

As soon as it was done he told me to take a nap (medicine) and he went to the kitchen and started putzing around. About an hour and a half he came back and sat on the bed grinning.

James:  "Our Spinach Pie will be done in an hour!" 

Me:  "Wait! Number 1. You made our traditional anniversary meal by yourself?!" 

James:  "YEP!

Me: "Number 2. Our oven is broken! And the part won't be in till Mon. or Tues.!"

James:   "I know, I called everyone who lived close by and couldn't reach anyone so I went knocking on the neighbors' doors till I found someone home who would let me use their oven for an hour and 15 min.!"  (Big Grin)

Me: "You love me that much?!"

James: "Well, You and Spinach Pie!" Laughs  (scene closes for you all)....

The romance never ends if you don't let it, you don't have to be rich, you don't have to do the same thing other people do and expect. It doesn't have to be Roses, Chocolate, candlelit dinner at a restaurant to mean that you are loving and continuing to court and invest in each other and your relationship.

Figure out WHO the person you are married to really is and that is what romance is really about! What is romantic about Spinach Pie??? It is my husbands favorite food in the whole world! It is expensive to make, you can't order it at a restaurant, his aunts and brother taught me how to make it the way his Mom did, it is unhealthy and fattening which neither of us need so we agreed that it would be our "Special" meal and I would make it for him on our anniv. every year. So I start buying and freezing ingredients up to two months in advance. 

Even if we can't get a gift for each other, we agree to put our money into the meal because it means so much to us.

My parents showed me this in a far different way when I was growing up. They often had NO money on their anniv. Not even enough to buy a little something extra to cook. I've known them to eat Cornbread and Milk for their anniv supper and be HAPPY! Why? Because they were together! What they ate didn't matter, where they were didn't matter. As long as they had time alone together, they were in Heaven on Earth!

That is the marriage that James and I make sure we work together to have every day. It's not always easy. I'm not an easy person to live with and even love all the time. I know that, And that is why I find him so amazing that he loves me at my worst.

Sooo, I chased a few rabbits there, but we had a wonderful anniv. in spite of my physical failings! I can't wait to see what year 14 brings for us!!

A Room of Our Own

I once heard a piece of decorating advice and it stuck with me. "Don't put pictures of anyone except the two of you as a couple in your bedroom." The more I thought on this the more I liked it and it made sense to me.
We have pictures in almost every room in our home, hall and bathrooms included. These include our kids, parents, siblings, ancestors, etc...but in our bedroom I have removed all photos that aren't James and I together.
In fact I have taken it a step further over the years and now have our main wall, which is at the end of our bed, decorated with every photo of the two of us that I can find. To make it look nice I frame them all in 8x10 or 5x7 black frames and if needed use a cream border. I have them hung in a grid of three rows across the wall.
As we lay on the bed and talk or rest we are looking at a parade of our memories of our years and treasured moments together. It is amazing how often we find ourselves pointing out one picture or another and talking about where we were and what we were doing when it was taken.
I could have put all those pictures in albums or all over the house mixed in with all the others. But focused like they are they draw our attention and we look at them often and they help keep memories of all our wonderful moments alive even during sickness or worry.
This has made such an impact on us and our marriage that I have, over time, moved everything out of our room that doesn't have to do with us. All the treasures the kids bring us are proudly displayed all over the house, but not in our room. We have things we have gotten each other or gotten when together and we have a few personal things from our youth that have made us who we are and have stories behind them that are very special to us as a person that we share with each other.
What am I trying to say?? We have been married for just shy of 13 years. We have 3 children whom we adore, treasure and thank God for, because each one of them are here only through the Grace of God and the answer to many, many prayers. But when James and I go in our room and close the door, it is our Haven. It is where we are alone. Where we are best friends and can tell each other anything. It is our special place with nothing to jar or distract us. It truly is "A Room of Our Own".

HEARTS

Hearts ~ I'm thankful for the little things! Like Hearts ♥, James and I give each other hearts, usually ornament type hearts, wood, glass, paper cloth, metals, crystal, musical, themed...when one of us sees one that makes us think of the other we get it. Often they are gifts for Anniv., Birthday, Christmas....but James came in with his hand behind his back at 11:30pm after working a 13hr. day and handed me a simple little woven heart with a red ribbon. It is beautiful and made me cry! While he was taking care of his client one of the older neighbor ladies came by to check on his patient and give one of the hearts she had made as a cheer up gift. James got to talking to her and found out that she is making them to sell at a craft fair in a few weeks so he went next door and bought one for me! When I started crying over the fact that he would think to buy me a hand woven heart in the middle of such a long hard day of work, he started crying too, so we sat here on just an ordinary day made extraordinary by his thoughtful and generous heart which was portrayed by this little woven heart we held between us! I'm thankful for James, His Big Heart and all our little hearts that remind me of all the times he thinks of me!

Holding Me in His Sleep

It is no secret that I was married before for 12 years. And at 43 years of age I have given my fair share of marriage counseling to young women who were my former students and ended up being friends. I also read, A LOT! And always have.
But I have never heard or read or known of anyone like my husband James. We have been married almost 13 years and this just dawned on me the two nights ago. I've noticed it, in a way before but never had it been clear like it was the other night.
When James sleeps by himself or with one of the kids he sleeps facing the outside of the bed or on his back. If one of the kids is in the bed he always piles pillows and blankets between him and them so they don't kick him and wake him up.
So when I can't sleep because of pain and am up late I try to slip in as quiet as I can when he has to get up real early to go to work, because I don't want to wake him up. And most of the time I don't. When I get in bed I always very gently lay a hand on his arm or shoulder or back....usually on top of the blanket so it doesn't disturb him, but just to be touching him as I fall asleep. Like the other night.

But even in his sleep, without his breathing changing or anything. He knows I am there. He always reaches out in his sleep and holds my hand with at least one of his or he will take my hand and hold it covered in both of his while he sleeps. Or if he rolls away from me he takes my hand with him wrapping my arm around him while holding my hand in his sleep. Or if I roll over he rolls over and rubs my shoulder for a second before laying his arm across my waist.
He is so connected to me and aware of me. He loves me so much that even in his sleep he is watching over me, protecting me, checking on me, making me feel safe and taking care of me. If I make a sound in my sleep that is different than my normal snoring. He is instantly wide awake, up on his elbow checking on me. Even before I am awake enough to realize that I cried out in my sleep in pain trying to turn over he's awake and talking to me and helping me, turning me, soothing me, adjusting pillows, whatever I need!
I believe that when God said that "they two shall become one flesh" this is part of what he had in mind. Neither one of us is by far perfect! But together we make a far better whole than we do two halves!
You always hear about Mothers being like this with their children but I never realized that it was a bond that you could have outside of that connection with a baby you had given birth to.
But I don't know why...If God spoke it I should have assumed it. I guess because I hadn't heard anyone talk about it and hadn't experienced it myself before and then when I did at first it was hard for me to get used to being so close to anyone. Even though I loved him with all that was in me I sometimes felt there must be pieces missing or damaged that made me feel worried about giving 1,000% in case I got hurt again. 
But the other night I realized, James hurting me would be like chopping off his own leg! We are ONE person! He loves me and would give himself for me! I don't have to hold anything back ever!

Taken with my phone camera at night...James holding my hand at night!

So I snuggled my hand in his and went straight to sleep holding hands with the Man of my Dreams!!